Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks Fast
Last read March 30, 2026
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Highlights
8 highlights.
It doesn’t matter if you don’t fully believe in your own responses to these questions. The key point here is to quickly defuse the buildup of fear by answering the “what ifs” in the right way with a strong “so what” attitude. Answering with “so what” is effective because it neutralizes the fear and places you back into a position of power.
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What we resist persists, and what we accept, we can transform. When we fully accept our anxiety by allowing it to be, without begrudging it, it then goes through a subtle transformation. As Lama Govinda said, “We are transformed by what we accept.”
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In essence, you must learn to get comfortable in your anxious discomfort.
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What level of anxious discomfort am I willing to embrace today in order to heal?
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The most important point here is not to be idle. Idleness is the enemy of recovery. If you’re idle, you’ll ruminate and “check in” all the time. “Checking in” is that habit all anxious people have of scanning their mind and body to see how they’re feeling every few moments. It’s the anxious mind scanning for danger. You dramatically reduce the number of times you “check in” if you engage with something to occupy your mind.
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You immediately respond by defusing it with a playful “so what/whatever” attitude. Then you move into allowing any residual anxiety you feel to be fully present. You get comfortable with your anxious discomfort. “I accept and allow this anxious feeling.” Now run toward the anxious feelings by telling yourself that you are in fact excited by them. “I’m excited by this feeling.” Then finally, you move your focus back to what you were doing. In this case, you engage with the work in front of you without feeling a need to check in all the time because you know you’re doing the right thing to heal your anxiety. Please note there is a very subtle but key difference between engagement and distraction. Engaging with something is not a form of distraction. You’re not trying to distract yourself from the anxiety; you’re engaging with life again. You’re allowing the anxiety to be present, but at the same time you’re not going to stop living your life.
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“Whatever! I accept and allow this anxious feeling. I’m excited by it as I engage with what’s in front of me.”
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“Don’t worry. It’s okay. Everything’s fine.” But that kind of logical self-soothing doesn’t work in the moment of panic; it’s the wrong approach. Logic and reason get totally drowned out by the alarm your body is sounding. You have to get your emotional brain’s attention by demanding more. That’s the kind of crazy, counterintuitive move that gets attention.
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